It’s a safe assumption to say that for a lot of us, thoughts of money take up a large portion of our mental energy. Even if we’re not consciously aware of it, we think about money A LOT, and rarely does a day go by where it doesn’t come into our stream of thought at least a couple different times.

Am I spending too much money? Is my savings account big enough? Can my current income support my spending habits? Will I be able to pay of my debt in time?

By and large though, the biggest issue usually comes with spending too MUCH money as opposed to not spending enough. Rarely do you see people get upset and say I have such a big savings account, and I don’t get to spend any of it! Instead, when most people try and hold onto money it’s akin to holding onto sand – it slips through their fingers.

I’ve gone through periods like that myself; acquiring money and finding that it was gone before I knew it. Maybe I had something to show for it, maybe I didn’t, yet I still felt guilty regardless. Sometimes that guilt led to deeper feelings such as depression or anger, where I’d question myself and wonder how I let so much money just fall completely out of my reach. I mean, it certainly doesn’t seem as if money is in short supply, right? Pretty much EVERYBODY has some, and it’s being passed all around us, so why is it so hard for us to grab a piece of that and just hold onto it?

Which begs the question – Should you feel guilty about spending too much money? While most people will undoubtedly say yes, we need to understand what “too much” money is first, allowing us to decide what lies within our grasps and what doesn’t.

Most people have a fixed income level; that is, they have a yearly salary which dictates their financial ability. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. While it means you’re locked into one bracket financially, it also means you’re able to figure out where you stand with your finances more easily. Despite the misconception that having a higher income level makes managing finances less worrisome, rarely is that the case, as people generally spend money in proportion to what they make. If you’re going to squander away 60% of your income, then you’re going squander away 60% of your income, whether that’s 25k or 100k.

The main threat fixed income levels present however, is that despite providing a steady rate of income week after week, it can be easy to sit on that and overspend your budget, knowing you have more money coming in soon.

Eh, I’ll just pay for it with credit today… I’ll be getting paid on Friday, so it’s not a huge deal.

I’ll just cut back on my spending these next few weeks, that ought to make up for all the money I spent today.

That being said, I don’t consider myself a “minimalist” person by any means, but I certainly don’t over-indulge in spending habits that I can’t support. I don’t go ape crazy with my credit card, but when I realize that I need something I don’t hesitate to buy it. I’ve had times in my life where I was much less responsible with money, and I’ve certainly fallen into the trap of increasing my expenses as my income level grew. I’m also only human too, just like everyone else reading this, and so I’ve certainly felt the compulsion creeping up inside of me whenever I see a product hit that I feel looks really interesting or exciting. Even if I don’t necessarily need it, there’s the hidden urge screaming “BUY IT!” that sits in the back of my mind. That urge could maybe be suppressed for a few hours or days, but rarely did it ever go away permanently until I actually bought the item in question.

When I was thrown into situations like this though, it naturally led to feelings of guilt. In fact, there are still plenty of times it can happen now, especially if I further analyze my spending habits.

The problem was, if I DIDN’T buy the item in question, then it would literally eat at my mind until I gave in, and if I DID purchase the item, then I’d feel like I had no willpower and succumb to feelings of guilt. Sort of a lose-lose situation that was brought on because I had the wrong mindset, and one that ended up either costing me money, time, or feeling of guilt.

Of course, people are always quick to point out obvious solutions, such as researching products before you buy them or holding off on impulse purchases. While these make sense, they’re actually not very helpful at all, and generally make for some bad advice. It’s a safe assumption that most people already know this stuff, and rarely does it help to eliminate the root of the problem: spending too much money.

Personally, the more I research a product the more I get excited about it, and that usually builds up mental hype within myself, further driving the urge to buy. If I simply decide to “hold off” on something, then chances are high that if I wanted to purchase something three days ago and didn’t, that I’m still going to want it today as well. If I decide to wait a week on top of that, then it’s a safe bet that even in a week the item in question is still going to be occupying my mind. When we want something, it’s very difficult to just discard that want, even if that’s all it is, and want and not a need.

The interesting thing about spending money is that it’s only defined in how you choose to look at it. After all, money IS meant to be spent, is it not? If something’s tugging at your mind so strongly that you feel the urge to buy it, then instead of examining the product itself, which so many people often do, you need to examine the feelings and emotions such a thing radiates towards you. Does thinking about it make you feel happy? Sad, angry, or depressed? When you truly think about it, the only reason we spend money is to secure our feelings of happiness, and if money can’t do that for us then there are very few reasons to have it. Whether you’re paying bills or buying something that you find entertaining, the goal of spending money is to secure those feelings and emotions and hold onto them.

Now that doesn’t mean money equals happiness, as it certainly doesn’t; but what it DOES mean is that having money can open a lot of doorways that allow you to experience new avenues of life, often leading to happiness.

But how does paying bills, struggling to afford tuition, or having to buy grocery’s each week lead to happiness?

Because all of those things are things that you NEED AND WANT. You’re paying bills so that you can live in a nice house and have running water, have phone coverage to talk to whoever you want to, and have a vehicle that you can drive to any location you please. Doesn’t that make you happy? And if you're complaining about tuition, aren’t you paying all that money to have an education in something that YOU choose? Something that you find genuinely interesting and exciting? To undergo an experience that very few people in the world, even to this day, will ever get to see firsthand. Isn’t that right there enough to give you some happiness and understanding as to what doors money can open for you? Instead of complaining about the costs of things, look at the doors that they open instead. Too often do we focus on the cost of admission instead of the benefits of graduation (for anything, not just higher-education) and we worry about what we have to put in instead of what we’ve been given. Don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to get caught up in that, but if you think about it too intensely and focus on only the expenses, you’re bound to walk away feeling frustrated and angry.

Which brings us back to our original point of spending too much money. If you can understand what feelings and emotions you pick up from something, then it can become quite clear whether or not that purchase is worth it.

I used to stress a lot about spending money on food all the time. Not at the grocery store, but meeting up with friends for lunch, making dinner plans with others, or going out for coffee in the mornings. I hated the thought of all the money being thrown away towards food, especially when I could easily make the same thing at home for much cheaper. Yet even after realizing that, I was still drawn to these events with friends, and I repeatedly did it over and over again. Week after week I’d make plans with people to go out for a bite to eat, and week after week I’d sit and stress how much money I’d spend out at these little events.

I could have bought a new pair of jeans with all the money I spent this week on eating out alone!

I’d come up with little mental analyses of what I could in turn be doing with all that money, and it would continue to eat at me. Finally after some time I stopped looking at the product (food) and started look at the feelings and emotions I was drawing from such an event (spending time with friends) and I realized that the price of a few dollars here and there more than justified what I was taking away in return. I got to spend time socializing with people whose company I enjoyed, an experience that nothing can replace. In turn, I could have forfeited all those events and saved up my money to buy something large and luxurious, such as a new laptop or TV. Would it have been worth it? Not at all, because those experiences with friends and family over the years have left me with an immense amount of memories and positive emotions that no amount of money can ever replace. I don’t look at money now as being a single entity, something I either have or I don’t, but I instead I focus on what it can bring to me and in what ways it can improve my life.

Suppose I DO want to buy a new laptop or television. Are those both things that could potentially bring me a great deal of happiness? For me personally, the answer would have to be no. The laptop I have now works perfectly fine, and I don’t watch very much TV in the first place, so I have very little interest in having the latest and greatest television set. What about a motorcycle though? That’s something I’ve been wanting for a good while now, and while its certainly got a price tag attached to it, that means very little in regards to the experiences I could gather from it. That isn’t to say it’s necessarily easy to come into contact with enough money that I can afford to purchase one outright, but assuming I had the money to spend, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. I know it would provide me with a great deal of happiness, so in the end it would be money well spent.

Once you can stop comparing your purchases to other potential purchases Instead of dropping that $100 on my movie and dinner date tonight, I could have picked up two new video games! and start focusing on what you can take away from the item or event you just spent money on, then it becomes much easier to handle your expenses. Impulse buys are also easier to maintain, as you’ll less fixated on the item itself and more concerned with what it can do for your life.

Money was meant to enrich and enhance the experiences and emotions we face in life, and that’s exactly how it should be treated. You can have all the money in the world saved up and at the end of the day if you’re not truly happy with yourself then it’s going to do very little for you. Instead, worry more about your quality of life and less on the dollar signs and you’ll soon notice that managing your money becomes a whole lot more enjoyable.