First Impressions

Just how important is a first impression, and just how far should we really go in order to pull things off? Although we go through a number of first impressions in our lifetime, most of them are negligible at best, and oftentimes we don’t even view them as a first impression at all. Things like speaking to a new neighbor, interacting with a new co-worker, meeting a new teacher or professor, etc. Despite most of us thinking we have little experience with first impressions, we’re actually quite full of experience even if we don’t realize it. In reality, the only difference is that certain people make us more nervous than others, and so that extra dose of anxiety causes us to react differently; usually being more harmful than helpful.

When we do interact with someone who doesn’t make us nervous, we’re less concerned with how the other person is perceiving us, and we’re instead able to focus our attention on what’s actually happening, whether it be a conversation or anything else for that matter. If our tie’s a little crooked or our pants aren’t perfectly ironed, who cares, right?

Despite the fact that we go through a multitude of first impressions in our lifetime and hardly ever realize it, there are those important times, few and far between, when we really need to make our first impression count. This is what gives notion to the school of thought that says “make your first impression your BEST impression.”

Which brings us back to the question from the start of the article: just HOW important is a good first impression? Whether it’s a big job interview, fresh date, or important business meeting, kicking your first impression into overdrive by really taking charge of things is certainly a wise move. Even if we’re consciously aware of this however, there are still a lot of things that go on behind the scenes regarding first impressions that we often don’t take notice of.

That being said, there are a few points we need to keep in mind:
-People always remember the first thing
-People always remember the last thing
-People will always have different personal preferences

Which means that we as individuals have a tendency to categorize somebody judging them from when we first met them, how they acted when we last saw them, and what our personal preferences are. Some people are more judgmental than others, that’s just a fact of life, and while you may not agree with it, sometimes you’re still forced to operate in the spotlight. While you personally may give others a wide time frame before you come to a conclusion on that individual, a lot of others out there aren’t so generous. Your first impression is all you’ve got and if it doesn’t work to your advantage then there’s a good chance the other individual is going to pass you up; whether it be on a date, a job interview, or anything in between.

Of course, the problem with being too consciously aware of making a first impression can lead to issues too. Instead of letting yourself flow naturally, you instead hide behind an ambassador of yourself; a false front you put up in an attempt to make yourself look better than you really are.

And that’s exactly the problem that people who overanalyze the situation run into, they send an ambassador of themselves instead of the real person. This makes people sound fake, dull, and uninspiring. When meeting somebody for the first time, whether it’s in a casual setting or a business setting, the things I look for in an individual rarely change. I look for somebody with a good sense of humor, somebody that’s easy to get along with, and somebody that has a good understanding of what they’re doing. I don’t get too wrapped up in being “businesslike” unless that becomes a focal point of the other person.

It’s also important to not throw your uniqueness out the window when going forward with a first impression. Even though the tendency is to want to blend in, blending in isn’t what got you here in the first place! Putting up this fake impersonation of being incredibly business-like on your job interview or trying to be Mr. Suave on your first date when that just isn’t you is going to be more obvious than you probably think. And even if it’s not, nobody wants to continue acting under some guise just in hopes that others will accept them.

The biggest aspect about a good first impression though is that they’re only what we make them. If you want to stress over it and worry yourself to death then fine, that’s cool. At the same though, realizing that you only have so much control over the situation and that there’s only so much you can possibly do is an important mindset to take up. Don’t view a first impression as something that you have to “conquer” or “overcome,” because it’s really not like that. Instead, making a first impression should be viewed as a compatibility screening, something that determines how well you’re setup to operate with somebody else.

The thing is, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to go about a first impression. If you go to a job interview and you don’t get the job, it’s not because YOU have some glaring fault, rather it’s a matter of there being little chemistry between the two parties. You could just as easily say it’s a flaw on the other individual as you could yourself; yet in truth the two of you just don’t stack up.

The most important thing you can do, as cliché as it sounds, it to just be yourself and let the rest take its course naturally. Don’t try and force yourself into any positions that you aren’t meant to fit into.

Finally, you need to accept that not every first impression you have will go over well. If you’re that worried about constantly impressing others and fitting yourself into some role instead of acting natural, then you probably need a healthy dose of self-confidence. Instead of constantly worrying about how you come off to somebody else, think about how that other person comes off to you. A first impression should be a mutual agreement between two parties; it should never be one person trying to please the other.

Act in accord to your natural character, and you’ll find the relationships you DO attract into your life, whether personal or professional, are a much better fit.

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